Friendship made uneasy

I have always admired chankaya .. If you don’t know who he is you better hang yourself. One of his quotes goes like this “one should be friends with people of the same status, never with the one below or above your status.” The first time I read this I dint bother to pay much attention but over the years I have realized this quote to be true in all the sense.

I have never had problems in making friends. However maintaining the relationship was a total pain in the ass. The problem with rich kids is that they never know what poor means... They think even the poor person( as in a college student) would have at least a 5k balance in his account all the time to splurge. It is not an easy task to make these fat brainy kids to understand that poor people like me won’t even have 500 bugs in the account by the end of the month.

In a hard way I have embraced the words of chankaya... Every once in a while I don’t make friends from different class but they themselves show me my place which does not feel that bad now. I now know how to take there mis-conceptions. I’m not so sure if there are people who feel like this but if there are then remember one thing... No matter how hard we try rich people wont understand and its better we don’t poke there unused brains. Hardly matter what class you belong to … there are good people in every class and when you meet them try hard to stay with them

From the SHAMEFUL RAPE CAPITAL OF INDIA

So there it goes, the shame capital of India has witnessed yet another incident of an innocent life getting succumbed to the desperation of few hooligans.

 Rape incidents in Delhi is such a common affair that people treat it as part and parcel of everyday life; a thing to discuss on the dinner table or during the morning walks. Somehow it all boils down to   victims fault especially her clothes. On one side people talk about equality and on the other side they sabotage the very right of a woman, the right to protect her body.

22 years in Delhi have made nothing less than a ninja to protect myself and I’m sure girls from Delhi or any other place will agree with me. Right from the time we step out of the house till the time we reach back world is a battle ground and we are warriors protecting ourselves. The funniest part of it all is that the girls are always told to watch themselves and protect themselves as if it is our fault. just because we have a vagina does not mean its an open invitation to insert  

The people who are entrusted with the responsibility  to protect us  are too busy counting cash from scams. The maximum they do is  make some horrendous comment  and give ridiculous solutions like “ girls should not stay out late” , “ girls should wear proper clothes” and so on.

We are trained to forgive and forget but its high time that we , the women should be give the power to chop off the dicks of these rapists or stone them to death…. It is high time that we take stand strong for the protection of our dignity and pride
I sincerely hope we girls get the power of mass penectomy so that we can chop off those filthy tools. 

Shamefully signing off ,

What s with an egotistic boss?

With no substantial experience of working with a “Pain in the Ass Boss” I started my internship with a jerk who is supposedly my Boss. The very first day he gave us enough reasons to hate him and slowly that feeling progressed into a rage and agitation in us. He is an amazing soul who taught me the importance of meditation to control anger and the power of memorizing 10 quick points to happiness. I will always be great full to him for showering me with abundance of insults in front of the entire office (No sarcasm intended), He was the one who taught me the importance of having a thick skin to survive the corporate music.

There were times when I used to doubt if he has mistaken me as an Afro-American slave but his attitude has cleared all my doubts and yes he does considers me as one. An Afro-American slave who is also a genie on demand (isn’t that great to adorn so many roles every day?).

I never had a formal introduction to the other employees therefore they think I’m my Boss’s slave who comes to office every day to make her boss’s life easy. It gives me immense pleasure to work with such an esteemed “asshole” (pardon me for the language but honestly I could not come up with anything that will explain him in his true essence) because he taught me some very important lessons which are:-

·       Never try to show that you have brains in front of your boss

·       Try hard to avoid companies where you have your super seniors as your managers especially if your college is filled with filthy rich dad’s good for nothing kids

·       Don’t do the work fast, else you will be give more & more work as and when you finish it.

·       Never correct your boss’s spelling mistakes because you will be asked to work on Saturdays from office and lots of work to do from home on Sunday.

·       Always keep smiling when you are being tuned to the magical sounds of abuses by your boss. This will help you stay calm and irritate your boss.

·       Pray to god every day to not a get a pre-placement from the company where you are doing your internship

P.S … These Rants Are Confessions of a Management Intern. Thus, they are self -motivated

Few words of wisdom :P

You know you shouldn’t be doing a MBA when:-

ü  You hate formals… because you think they are bloody expensive and unnecessary moreover T-Shirt, jeans n chappals are the ultimate name for comfort for you.

ü  You usually write “ fiancé “ instead “ finance”.

ü  You have the habit of sleeping at 11 pm and getting up at 9 am

ü  You think speaking non-sense is weird ( trust me if u think speaking trash is crap then you are screwed because MBA guys are trained to talk trash)

ü  You don’t know which specialization to taken up even when you are in the middle of your second semester.

ü  You read books about Indian history and fiction novel when you are supposed to read management journals.

ü  You try to read Economic Times but don’t understand a word expect the name of the companies mentioned and you get frustrated and you  end up reading the supplementary paper.

ü  You have to literally scratch your head to get a management jargon in those desperate times the demands you to act smart and witty and intellectual.

ü  Every case discussion in your class set you  off for a fantastic sleep

ü  You are the  consistent “ C” grade scorer from your class

ü  You cannot remember the name of most of the CEOs and least intersted to make any efforts to know also.

ü  You got no clue what is the latest technological breakthrough or what is that product that’s make news these days ?

ü  You stay jobless most of the time when your batch mates are working their ass off in those assignments

ü  Your batch mates are discussing about the placement scenario of the college … you would be like..." what you think would be the menu for lunch today ? is it Aloo 65 or Gobi corn masala ?".

ü  When you are not an engineer or the worst you are a  BBA graduate who never thought it was important to read subject books and retain the concepts.

ü  You are not able to choose a subject to specialize in because you think anybody can do / learn  MARKETING … HR teacher’s preachings are lullaby for you and thus its too boring to even consider as a subject to specialize in .. and FINANCE appears in alien languages to you and operations is too mechanical and restricting your so called creativity.When the truth is that you are too lazy to put efforts on doing anything.

ü  When you choose your college not for the placements but because the campus looks good and you get single rooms to stay in... . the placement status clicks you later

ü  You don’t attend a single management events because you think weekend should be spend with your cigarette and laptop.

           In short MBA is a fuck all scene.

P.S… this is definitely not fiction. Need I say whose experience is this?

No offence to people who do MBA even I belong to that slot

I’am not single

 I’AM double in size 

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People the very few people( I say very few in all most all my posts because the number is literally very few and I would like to acknowledge all those few people in each of my posts any problem ?)  Who read my posts please don’t go by the bold  title of this post this is not exactly about my relationship status it is indeed about my physical status. 

I’ am double in size yes I’ am not size zero , I’ am not skinny I’ am born broad ( I would love to call my self broad instead of fat ) however now I have reduced myself a little bit so I would probably be included into the healthy people’s group( hopefully) but there was time when I was huge ..

        

Life was a bitch back then (not that it is any better now). When you are fat, people around you (the ones who know you and otherwise) take it upon themselves to throw some really unwanted advices on you. I have had some really long advice taking sessions. I have been advised to do so many things to get lean. I have tried it all seriously almost everything from jogging to walking to dieting to crash dieting and the favorite of all these tortures was having a two spoons of  vinegar ( the white one) diluted in a glass of water on an empty stomach early morning. I have done that for like a week after that I could not take it. I could feel my internal system getting crunched with this vinegar dose so I gave up.

The thing with these people and their unwanted advices is that there is no place set  to throw advices . Advices are freely flowing and you have to listen to it if not follow it because they dont really leave you with much of a choice. Most of these advices leaves my face with an  " I would have happily spent my week without that shitty piece of advice " expression but the people don't really see it ? why i dunno may be I'am a pathetic actress i conclude . These  advice active people can be found at places like...  Wedding ( the favorite spot for " u better get lean beta ; else you will die single " advices can be taken from here) ,
Movie theaters ( the favorite place for " Don't buy so much of nachos or don't eat butter popcorn " advices ) ,
Family get-together ( the place where a fat kid is always compared to the other fellow cousins who look more like malnourished kiddos from countries like Somalia or Vietnam)  ,  
Temples (place where " u have to shed those extra kilos else you wont look good in a sari " or " you have to reduce a little bit else no one will give you a second look in the temple , then how will you get married ? advices can be heard here  sigh !) . 

Even though the subject of these advices are the same the concern depends on the place they give advices . out of all the venue i hate the temple advice the most.I go to temple to get some peace and tranquility and the aunties there come to take the peace from me. Half of the times I don’t even recognize the people in the advising committee but I never said a word as I was made to believe that fat people have no voice.( don’t be shocked it so happens). It sometimes so happen those aunties who carry the bulge and fat that might cause some serious threat to this very planet’s balance have advised me on how to loose weight. That’s funny isn’t it? Yes it is ask me... it’s like being advised by elephants on how to get skinny (ROFL) and yeah how can i forget the “Do Not Eat“ this list for the fat people which  is so freaking funny.. Somehow people expect you to make peace with bittergaurd and beans and so like which is so not possible because if you see things like Pastries, Paneer Roll, and Doughnuts calling you to come and eat them n soothe your tummy how can you not listen to them ?  I know one cannot resist those  beauties  then how can BIG people resist such temptations I mean you don’t loose the right of being a human if you are fat or do you?

Don’t think twice all you big people out there… BE proud of your size because you (including me) have earned it with our hard work and sincerity towards food (no sarcasm involved in these lines mind you)

             The last tiny advice to the people wanting to loose those kilos –    People you are born special and are bound to stand out even if that is because of your over bulging fats but hey its all about  being different right

And if you still want to loose weight or shed those extra baggage from your body you should follow things that suites you and not what a stick like actress asks you to do and MOST IMPORTANTLY LOOSE WEIGHT FOR YOU NOT  BECAUSE OTHERS WANT YOU TO ..

Everyone is born special and so are you dear big people (including me). Accept yourself the way are and you would see how gifted you are .

I see RED and it’s definitely not in a good way

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I HATE VALENTINE’S DAY and I Hate Red!!!!

Yes I do hate this very day from the bottom of my heart (and I don’t consider it as a sin like many do). I’m not someone who would remember such days and bother to wish others (I hardly wish people even on their birthday) but this day... no matter how much I try to protect my eyes and ears from the contaminated news related to the so called “SEASON OF LOVE” I terribly fail. It’s almost impossible to save yourself from the valentine day fuss (if you actually want to get saved!) Other days like “ teddy day”, “promise day” and so related irrelevant days are easy to ignore ( all you have to do is to just ignore few Facebook updates by your friends and delete those few  messages on your phone wishing you such days ) but VALENTINE DAY is a botheration, the very word is like a pain in the wrong place. From the beginning of Feb small hints to this very day begins (auspicious day for certified lovers). This day is slowly turning into a national celebration and if this goes on someday we might have a holiday for valentine day as well (I hope that never happens. I sincerely do)

I just don’t understand the importance of this day. Don’t we love people/our respective partners on the other days? Don’t we go out on date on the other days? Don’t we watch movies together on the other days? YES WE DO (I mean the couples do not me) if we do such things on normal days then what makes this day so different(lets just keep the historical relevance apart)? May be this day is special in a way for the ones who are willing to pamper and get pampered.It's not everyday you get to see someone  spending a few grand just like that to make their partners (mostly it’s the guy who spends and girl enjoys. I again could never understand this trend however this does not mean I'll spend so much on my guy NEVER ) happy taking them out for a nice dinner, a bouquet ( only red roses) or may be a movie together or go to some place  where there is peace and love( read as bed and A/c). 

I personally don’t have a problem with couples or people who love to celebrate this day or any other day for that matter (what choice do I have?) but my problem is with the fuss people make about it from newspapers to TV channels to kids on my block to the oldies everyone is taking about this day. Now most of them don’t make a fuss because they have a valentine they make a fuss  when they see some happily single people doing nothing on this “special” day. It’s like if you don’t have a valentine you committed a sin or the worst you are a good for nothing creature. Some pity on you others laugh on you when you walk alone or with a younger cousin in a mall on this very day (trust me I have seen that look may times) at times such looks make you feel as if you  walking naked  and this scene completely changes if you walking with a guy(he doesn’t have to be good looking or whatever just needs to a GUY) people will look at you as if you walking with your noble prize trophy on your side. There is a sudden sense of respect for you by the fellow lovers. It's almost like if you dont have a so called lover you did nothing in your life.

The second most irritating thing is the crowd. You walk into a mall and everyplace every corner will be packed with these so called love birds. Girls with layers and layers of makeup and guys with layers and layers in their pocket (money is after all the underlying element of love today) laughing and giggling tickling and moaning. It’s irritating. And what’s with the color RED? Seriously why red?  Isn’t there any other color that justifies romance? Red flowers, Red chocolate boxes, Red gift wrappers, Red clothes, Red bags, and Red sandals all RED …. When will anyone care to think about the very few people who are being tortured with this love drama (underlined with RED everywhere?)

If you genuinely love someone any day and everyday is a valentine’s day and moreover you don’t need gifts (and that too the ones with a hint of red. I don’t believe in love but I guess true love is unconditional) and yeah if you love someone keep it to yourself or to your respective partner don’t make it public like many people do on this “special” day because the public is least interested to know if your in love of out of it so spare us ..

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Special Note -* Excuse me if I sounded a bit romantic in any of my lines it might have been due to the “LOVE” that’s in the air from February 1 to February 14- 15 *