Dec 30, 2010

My identity crisis

im in a good mood today( and tht is very rare 2me) so i decided to write more
im getting flashbacks of some incidents that leads to my identity crisis so I'll  talk about my identity crisis :- well by birth im a south Indian ( my parents are) and im bought up in Delhi( north India)n there begins a story of confusion .. confusion or rather fusion of culture and customs.
      My poor parents like any other south Indian parents expected  there daughter to grow into  a true keralite ( i don't noe what that means)but there daughter( that is me ) dint really become a keralite in any sense and  i could never even become a delhiite for that matter.. i indeed became more like a pendulum hanging between both the cultures( the one my parents wanted me to grown in and the one surrounded me)
so now i don't even Noe which part of India do i fit in2 so i go with the tag of being just an INDIAN irrespective of the zones . 
so ya coming back to my identity crisis  .. like any other kid i also tried mingling with the north Indian population of my school and that was easy except a few irritating questions that goes like this :-

north Indian
friends (NI) - ru madrasi ?

me         - no im a keralitie 
NI       - haan kerala madras sabh ek hi to hota hai 
me       -  no madras is tamil nadu n kerala is a different state
NI        - kya baat kar rahi hai ? sabh ek hota hai paagal ..

me       - paagal ? who me ? ya ryt..( WT F ? do i hv 2 teach these dickheads geography now ?) n i decided to keep quiet i figured out that there is no point in  teaching these people that kerala is different from madras and its not the same MY DEFEAT NO-1
such situations taught me one thing.. one should never try to correct people when they are so proud of there stupidity and ignorance

after a point my fellow classmates understood that kerala and madras is not the same ( thank god!) but there parents din't :'(  and i hv stopped correcting people long back so such act of stupidity dint really bother me .
most of my friends were bongs and punjabis  i liked them more than fellow keralities( ya i was a racist . i dint really prefer to be with the people from my state; never thought that was a big deal )
once i was invited to the birthday bash of one of my friend(not that i was never invited to any birthday bash aftr this one but i remember this incident till date point to point because it was nothing less than an eye- opener) .She was a Punjabi.I was happy to be invited.. after all my soul lies where food lies n who doesn't  love aloo paratha ?
dressed in my new jeans and superman   t-shirt i enter her house.. and ya with my trademark smile .Her mother welcomes me with a smile followed by a shocked expression i figured the reason of her shock lil later. She was shocked to hear me  talk in english with its proper accent ( not the mallu accent .. sorry no offense mallus.. well i don't care even if they r offended none of the  mallus follows my blog )Her mother's shocked expression after hearing my English prepared me for the rest to come 
The dinner was served n v all sat .. ( my friend , her parents , her uncles , her aunties ,there 6 kids.. they were allergic to family planning ! ) 
i started eating the paranta; aunty was staring at me.She offered me the rice i refused she was shocked( i wonder why) then she said( more to satisfy her) .. ya ya i noe y u refusing the rice ..: tumhe to haat se khane ki aadat hai na beta.. koi nahi yaa bhi haath se kha lo isme kya hai
i felt like kicking her  right on her face but then i din't for the sake of the aloo paranta n kheer on my plate.. instead i simply said .."aunty i dont like rice .. i prefer rotis over rice" she was shocked again( thats her trademark expression)
then she goes on.. 
aunty - " beta daniya ( daniya is coriander in hindi n ya ppl used 2call me daniya n sum jerks still do call me daniya instead of dhanya ) tum madrasi to bahut intelligent hote ho na(now it was my turn 2 b shocked) .I don't noe about other madrasis but i for sure broke up with intelligence long back well intelligence according to aunty means ability to stand first in the class) sabh ke baade acche marks aate hai.. tum madrasi baccho ki wajah se meri bitto class me  10 rank lati hai ( i had no clue wt2say on this blunderous statement..  jst coz her daughter was getting a 10 rank in class how am i2 b blamed 4 that  ? or how can one blame other poor madrasis 4that. infact how can u blame any1 if ur kid is a dumbass. my parents never blamed anyone !!)
i ignored aunty bt she continues ..

aunty  - " beta daniya tum madrasi to sabhi macchi khate ho na ? isiliye tum log itna acche hote ho padiye mein (i was loosing my kool ). bt i decided to stay quiet . kheer was yet 2b finished 

 aunty- "  tum toh itne kali nahi ho kyon beta ? ooooooh accha tum toh bachpan se hi dilli mein ho na isliye .. warna toh tum bhi.. bas .. she adds .. beta bura toh nahi laga na mein toh bas aise hi ( ya lady y will i feel bad. u just looking down upon an entire south indian population n y will i feel bad .. GRRRRRRR at tht time all i wnted to do was crush her skull)
i was thunderstruck at this statement .. but shameless aunty adds on
aunty - " waise beta daniya tum log to khana haat se hi khate ho na.. sambar idli sab ek saath milakar haath se khate hona ? mujhe pata hai mai ne dekha hai ? bura mat mana beta badi ghin aati hai"
well that was it.. i cod not take it any more she was getting on ma nerves( n ya i hv finished everythng that was served so i decided 2 fire back )
I wanted 2 say sumthng 2 defend south Indians "MY PEOPLE?".For a moment i felt like the leader of a understated group i was all up against these brainless groups but then i had no clue what 2say.. how will i explain it to her that v don't mash  sambar and idli 2gether and we do have table manners we noe how to treat n eat food we are not uncivilized people, how will i explain her that all south Indians r not dark complexioned , how will i explain her that we don't come first because we  eat fish indeed majority of us are vegetarians .I knew  explaining her all this  would b nothing less than attacking her tiny brain cells with an AK- 47 so i decided not to fuck her microscopic brain cells for now n let time do that and with nothing better to do i walked out of their dinning hall and bid goodbye to that dumbhead n my sweet friend
this was one incident that prompted me to mend my ways b be proud of my own identity and  im still trying to; not to b proud of my roots but to find out in general where do i fit the best


  1. Lolzzz !! Really i too faced this situation !! According to ppl over North, Madras is termed as South India !! ;) ;)

    Good Post !! :D :D

  2. thnx keerthi .... i guess most of the south Indians hav faced such a situation at least once

  3. your identity crisis is the best post according to me . That dumbhead aunty was gurpreet's mommy right? i guess i was their at the b'day bash. madrasi achi lekh leti hai tu

  4. ya tht dumbhead aunty is shradha aunty .. dude i miss her where is she now ny idea ? her kheer n aloo paratha is the bestest :D


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