Crashed Dreams :(

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I’ am home. I’ am still uncomfortable to call this place my home. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to accept a place; I have heard people say and  that is exactly the time I need to called it home without a heavy sigh.  While sipping my ginger tea and enjoying my second cigarette all alone at home I look around to the early hustle bustle of this city. It looks familiar yet it annoys me. The sheer realization of having to accept something that I dread is still killing me like a slow poison. I try to soak in the grudge and indulge in a long intimate drag. I found solace in my cigarettes. I’ am not a heavy smoker though, just 3 everyday... According to me that is just fine.

After the initial hoopla my parents started acting like any normal parents would act i.e., started displaying their disappointment in my inability to get placed. I know anyone would be upset but I wonder why people forget that I’ am the jobless one here so I will be more upset than anyone but I guess that hardly counts. People who pay for your degrees  have the right to taunt you when your pricey degrees don't help you earn the bread for the family or for yourself and all I can do is sit and listen.

We all grow up dreaming a perfect life. I grew up dreaming MONEY. Loads of it primarily because of its absence during my growing years. It’s not like I’ am a beggar but I have been to good schools with rich people so I look up to be like them someday but with my hard work. Sadly nothing really worked out. I have stopped believing in god. Had there been a god he would have helped me to reach my goals, its not like I asked him for the impossible. Not like i asked him for the dream guy on pricey four wheeler and a big house all I asked was a job.Dint get any as yet.

Endless rants and tears seem to be a daily chore to me these days but I know this too shall pass. I have accepted the fact that I should searching for some petty job and compromise on my dreams. May be someday I will be rich so what if that might happen when I’ am on my death bed? Still rich right