Jan 17, 2011

Its not easy to act like a "GIRL"

okay people stop thinking im crazy to write such a thing( i m talking about  the title of this post ) .. u might be thinking how difficult is it  for a girl to act like a girl right ?WRONG. It is  very difficult to act like a typical girl and i know it very well. According to most of the male species all the girls are of only of one type which is the" complicated types" but that is just our middle name; there is more to known about the fairer sex
      The concept of acting like a girl never really got into me  even if I'm a girl!!!! may be that is because i was never the typical girl . I was a certified fatso of my school and i never had any complains about it.My weight  was increasing at a constantly increasing rate and i did nothing about it, so without much of a surprise to me i was spared from all the tags in my school(u know the usual tags of "hot","sexy", "beautiful","serene")during my growing years except the"cute" tag once in a blue moon and that too because of my hanging cheeks(well my cheeks were not  literally hanging) my cheeks were just equally proportional to the fat accumulated on other parts of my body and it was not cute for me nevertheless i accepted the"cute" tag with my trademark smile(after all my eating syndrome was paying me in some way.  Moving further like everyone noes fat people are not really expected to be fashionistas and self experiencing the remote possibility of getting proper clothes(read as fashionable or rather short clothes) for me i decided to squeeze myself into  my baggy jeans,loose T-shirts,chappals n jhola and eventually i fell in love with me that way.Much later i realized or rather got to know that my personal style was a fashion faux( not according to me but according to many " girls" around me not that it bothers me )
It was in my  ninth grade that i saw a significant change in many of my fairer sex classmates all of sudden most of them wanted to look like barbie dolls replica .I Noe lot of changes happen when u reach puberty and it will affect  your body parts and in case of most of the girls around me it was their BRAIN that was affected the most; most of them have lost their logical thinking ability (n that calls for serious shit !!).In the run to look sexy n hot or whatever and attract maximum attention from the boys they did a lot of hard work .I was as expected thrown out of the league for the tags that was not even remotely close to my personality(Ex- "hot" tag) girls did whatever they can do  to get maximum number of boyfriends / followers / stalkers(either one of these or rather all of them were warmly welcomed at that age).Girls with bodies that can put X-Ray machines to shame wanted 2loose weight(logically u need 2 have some weight to loose some weight right ? I tried had 2 see some fat in their body but all i saw was peeking bones itching to rip their skin n come out still they went for dieting. Told u they have lost their logical part after reaching puberty)

Years passed by(among these crazy lots..but i must admit there were people with serious brains around me so that kinda saved me from loosing my brain) and  i was happy being myself so i stayed out of all the tags(even though i wanted to compete for those tags but thinking about the "hard- work" that goes into being hot,i all of a sudden get contented with what I'm)Eventually i passed out of my school and as i had nothing better to do i  joined  college.Like every other person i too had lot of expectations from my college life and within no time all my expectations were burnt to ashes.. the prior n most important expectation was to get "normal people " around me(i somehow didn't want to be with anorexic, hot or sexy girls n guys with me. I don't mean they are not normal they are normal they are just not my types that's all) .. if not in the college at least in my class but the exact opposite of my expectation happened in real .I was thrown to deal with  the completely not so  " normal people" in my class except one.. and im grateful to get that special someone who helped me sail through my shitty crazy crappy college life(no im not talking about my boyfriend ; its my g/f im toking about and im straight.There were a couple of others nice ppl in my class but they were really happy with their groups n so were v) so we both were thrown out of the league( n yet again i was very happy to be singled out or rather we were happy ) it is not our fault that we dint expand our group in those 3years we did try 2mingle with others but it was not just happening Y? ill give u situations to explain what we went through-Imagine a situation when a trained monkey is left loose to interact with wild monkeys( difficult right? )or imagine a situation when  u try to squeeze yourself in to a 32 size bra when u noe u need a 34or36 or38 or 40.In such a situation no matter how hard u try u just cannot make peace with the things around u, so for me n my friend college life was pretty much like the situations i mentioned And as people say everything happens for a good So some good did happen; i finally figured out the main points to  "act like a girl" my seclusion did help me to get to know a typical girl better so here are the highlights; take it if u want to I have tested it n failed.The main points are as follows:- 
# always make sure that you have enough girls in our group.The best is to have only girls in our group.The more the girls the better the dose of gossip and fashion tips 

# make sure u never talk slowly or in low voice( That's a sin Never ever do that if u r trying 2 act like a " girl ")U have to make sure that u say a secret in such a high  pitch that the people sitting at all the four corners  should hear it all clearly( and GOD can only save the ear-drums of the  ones sitting close to you)Mind u the ability to shout comes with practice and repeatedly watching big boss season4 videos will help you lot

# make sure that you carry bags in flashy colors like pink(the brightest shade)orange,yellow,red.In short u can go for any color that will fuse others eye balls n turn them blind(let them suffer for not being a girl or for not acting like one)

# have huge collection of flashy earrings,bracelets,nail colors(preferably green, yellow , golden n if possible put all these colors together)and show it to everyone once u wear them and never forget to appreciate the new things u g/fs buy even if its just a pen for 5Rs or a socks or if u can see other things that u generally not meant to never forget to appreciate that as well.

# put on clothes with stones,chain n net hanging from everywhere n make sure u tel everyone that its in fashion else they might think u belong to some tribal community
# always look down upon people who carry jhola, chappals jeans n t-shirts in sober colours(if u not sure how to look down upon people i'll tell u its easy just  look at them n look away twisting your face a lil bit as if u just smelled shit or a better way- say sumthing in ur friends ears in start laughing in extremely high pitch)

# make sure that u give HI-five to ur friends at a regular interval of 5minutes.Don't look for reasons just do it.If u don't have reasons 2 give HI- FIVES then just laugh at any random person around you , u can take any1 for ur amusement any1 who prefer talking in a low voice or people who don't just blabber but talk sense basically u can target ny1 whose logical part is still working
# selecting appropriate footwear is very important.Always go for greens(need i say the bright shades again n again ?)yellow,white.

# alwas stretch the words when u say them Ex- cute will b "cuuuuuuuuuuutttttttteeee"  n start ur sentence with "baby " like "baby how much do u love me"?( ask this to ur b/f or g/f depending on ur sexual orientation),"baby where did u buy ur new socks from owww howwww cuttteeee."got it?again perfection comes with practice

# last but not the least try to color your hair if possible blonde ( that's the only color that will perfectly go with such personality and responsibility of acting like a " girl ")

DISCLAIMER :-  Any resemblance to the incidents mentioned in this post is not so purely fictitious and not unintentional but It is more a product of coincidence.This is not the generalised view on girls however this applies to most of the girls( barbie doll replicas !)
P.S - Girls with serious brains( like me  n that is no exaggeration and a few more i noe ) do exist.


  1. haha..........perfect points on how to ACT like a girl.......!!!!!!!

  2. Lolllz ..., Kinda back to college tremors !!! :p

  3. OMG lot of ppl r getting flashbacks from this post.. im happy i took u bak in times :D

  4. what is this ?you wrote a thesis on acting like a girl ? I'am glad you don't act like the ones mentioned here. nice post

  5. hmm thesis tere jaise gadho ke liye.. phir bhi tum nahi sekhte


Thanks 4stamping ur views